By Dana Phillips.
I am fascinated with the concept of staying in the coaching space with my client. While I am listening, reflecting their words and working to hand back their thoughts and feelings, I am grateful for DiSC.
Here is a quick review of DiSC
D: Dominant, Direct, Driven
I: Influencer, Inspiring, Inviting
S: Steady, Supportive, Status Quo
C: Conscientious, Contemplative, Cautious
A person whose primary communication style is “S” or “I” will typically be more in touch with their emotions, so questions that evoke feelings will help them hone in on what they want.
Here is a recent exchange with a person who exhibits a lot of “S”:
How does that make you feel?
“Oh, I am overwhelmed and frightened.”
What would it feel like if you were not overwhelmed or frightened?
“Oh, I would have an easy peace and know that everyone was fine.”
Tell me more about the feelings of harmony?
“There would just be more peace on my team, more collaboration.”
What little steps (remember the “S” wants incremental, not drastic change) could you take to resolve this situation on your team?
“Well, I guess I would have to talk to the person who is causing the trouble.”
What would that feel like?
“A little scary but I have to do it for that sake of the team.”
How can you approach her and maintain your sense of harmony?
“I am going to ask her first if we can talk about something that isn’t comfortable for me to talk about. If she says yes I will describe my observations.”
And what will you do if she is unwilling to budge?
“Oh, that would be so sad, but I guess I would have to let it go.”
Can you see how the use of questions that includes feelings, harmony, and help the client to own her solution?
Speaking each client’s language through rate, tone, and words does get to the heart of the client’s known and unknown world. When I use words, nuances, and questions that resonate with a client, they are more aware of their own thinking.
Who Helps You Get in Your People’s Minds?
You’re not a mind reader and neither are we. You can learn to listen for clues and use them. Coaching helps you build your coaching muscles around DiSC and other tools.
One of the unique offerings from Team Connections Pro is monthly coaching. All of our members have two calls a month to help them laser focus on key topics. Coaching, along with all of the training resource in audio, video, and print are yours. And new things are being added all the time.
At Team Connections Pro, we’re here to support you. Try it for a month, and if it’s not what you want, you can end your membership with no penalties.