By Dana Phillips.
I will never forget the painful day I received a letter from my first leader that began, “Will you please just listen?”
It was my first awareness that everyone did not think, behave or lead like me. I am a Driver, the type of person who is all about results. As a leader, I thought it was my responsibility to figure out how to be successful and get everyone on my team to ‘do it my way.’ This wasn’t working for this leader.
So, how did I learn to become a leader all types of people would follow? It began with learning about the different behavioral styles. It helped me understand how I impacted others and how they would react. My direct communication offended some people, so I learned to be softer. Some people need the facts and ‘only the facts.’ Some people are all about the fun and the people; achievement runs a distant second. Some people are most focused on making sure everyone is happy.
I learned to check my natural tendency to take control and ‘do it my way’ by stopping whenever I resist an idea or way of doing something. I ask myself these questions before I move forward:
- What exactly am I resisting? Is this something I find offensive or unethical, or am I just fighting a different way to look at or accomplish something?
- What will happen if I try their way? Will they feel valued? Might it work out better?
- If I listen to them, will they be more open to me?
These three simple questions have opened up many new possibilities for me. I have created some wonderful relationships, grown in areas that are not my natural strengths, and accomplished much more than if I had ‘done it all my way.’
Take a chance; open yourself to looking at people and situations through their eyes instead of your own. Your world will expand!
What Do You Want? Where Can You Look?
You want to be the leader that your team wants and needs. Enjoy your present time with them.
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