By Dana Phillips.

Emotion often drives salespeople.  Words like passion, fire, burn, desire, dreams, enthusiasm, and excitement are commonplace.

What we don’t often talk about are the negative emotions that can surface in a month, week, or day.  In the last month I have had clients describe these emotions: fear, hurt, disappointed, angry, sad and frustrated.

Sometimes we dismiss these emotions, tell our team members not to “feel” that way, to get a better attitude, to “fake it, till you make it.”

As a coach, I think we have a better way to work with our clients (team members).  We can acknowledge the feeling, and we don’t have to fix every feeling.

  • Listen to the emotion without judgment.
  • Reflect the emotion back to her.
  • Ask what she wants.
  • Ask, “What does she want?”
  • How will those feelings get her what she wants?
  • My friend and colleague, Kimberley Borgens, often asks, “how is that feeling of xxx serving you? If it isn’t, are you ready to release it?
  • When?
  • What thoughts will you commit to replace it?
The conversation may go like this:
“She makes me so mad.  I am so frustrated.”

“I hear your frustration.  What do you want?”

“I want her to stop being such a jerk.”

“I hear that, but you know you can’t change her.”  What do you want?”

“I don’t want to have to deal with her.”

“That certainly is a choice, Is that what you want?  What would that look like?”

“Well I have to deal with her, so that wouldn’t work.”

“So what do you want?”


…. Silence….


“I guess I don’t want to feel this way.”

“What do you want?”

“I want to move forward.”

“How will that feel?”

“What do you need to do to move forward?”


What emotions have you faced in working with others?  What are your coaching tips?

Who Listens To Your Feelings About Sales?

You experience these feelings just like your team members.  Who can listen without judging you?  You get lonely at the top, and yet you need to openly share your thoughts and passions.  Let Team Connections Pro be your ear.  One of the unique offerings from Team Connections Pro is monthly coaching. All of our members have two calls a month to help them laser focus on key topics. Coaching, along with all of the training resource in audio, video, and print are yours. And new things are being added all the time.

At Team Connections Pro, we’re here to support you. Try it for a month, and if it’s not what you want, you can end your membership with no waiting period.