By Dana Phillips.

I wish I had the definitive answer for you.  There were many times in our direct selling career that I responded to a difficult person in a manner that makes me cringe to remember it.  Through the years, I had some great mentors who did teach me a lot about working with a difficult person.  Here are some of the things I learned along the way.

  • Don’t take it personally.  Their behavior speaks more about them than anyone else.
  • You can’t change people, but you can change the way you respond to them.
  • Listen with the intent of understanding the person.
  • Difficult people usually work their way out of business in our profession.  Essentially they change or “fire” themselves.
  • Take the high road.  Don’t “go down” to their level.
  • Don’t stick your head in the lion’s mouth.   In other words, don’t look for opportunities to “teach” them a better way.
  • Use “I feel” instead of “You need to” or “You make me feel”.
  • Work to find something good about the person and accentuate the positive.
  • Find ways to agree with the difficult person.  “You could be right.  Now what do you want to do about it?”
  • Sometimes the right answer is to not respond at all. And many times that is the most difficult thing to do.

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